Falling into place

So it's already been four months since we moved back to the UK from Australia! And we have finally found somewhere to live and a regular future income stream!

Since we arrived in December, Nick has been looking for full-time work as a business intelligence analyst all over the south of England. We didn't really have a preferred location to settle, and although we have family and friends in the Hampshire area, it is much more expensive to rent. Places like Devon and Somerset have a much better wage/rent ratio meaning not only would we be able to cover costs but actually put aside a nice amount each month as well.

But in the end Nick secured a job with a well-known car brand in Hook, north Hampshire. It's a great job so fingers crossed it works out for him. He starts next week.

We couldn't find anything we liked to rent in our price range up near Hook, so we have decided to rent a 2-bed house in the village of Westbourne in West Sussex. Nick will have a long-ish drive to work but as part of his package includes a new car I'm not sure he minds too much! And the benefits of renting are that if the commute does seem too long, then we will just move a bit closer once the tenancy expires.

It's a lovely little house, with a wood-burning stove, an open fire, big open plan kitchen and a completely enclosed garden, perfect for Devon. The village of Westbourne has everything we need too, some shops, a few pubs, a playground and lots of lovely walks.

We move into our new house tomorrow so I'll share some photos once we are in and unpacked. Our Movecube containing our stuff from Australia is being delivered next week and we can't wait to open it up and see what's inside (as we can't really remember now!) 

For the past few weeks I've had the opportunity to do some part-time work with one of my previous employers. It was a good opportunity to earn some extra money while we waited for Nick to start his new job and I thought it would be good to give me a bit of a refresher as it's been a while since I've been employed! Nick has also been doing some freelance work for his company back in Australia over the last few weeks.

Even though I was only leaving Devon with his Dad and grandparents, I had to think long and hard about whether Devon and I were ready to spend that time apart. I admit it has been hard. Devon cries when I leave in the morning and although I know he's mostly fine without me, he doesn't nap well for his Dad or Grandma as they don't have the booby tools at their disposal. And deep down I just don't feel right leaving Devon yet. He's still so little and doesn't understand what's going on. So I will be a stay-at-home mum once again when we move into our new place, until we feel the time is right for Devon to start nursery/pre-school. I feel absolutely blessed that we are able to base this decision on what is right for us as a family and not forced out of it by financial necessity.

I really feel being self-employed is the way forward while Devon is small, but it's tricky to make much money selling art, and I'm not sure I have the time or experience to set up a bookkeeping business right now.

So all is well in the world of the Smallards, and I'll write another post in a few weeks once we are settled in our new house.

Life with Devon at 18 months

So I know I moaned a lot in the blog post I wrote about parenting just after Devon's first birthday. It seems I wasn't alone - I had lots of feedback from fellow parents who knew exactly how I felt.

So I felt compelled to write an update on what life is like, six months on.

Firstly, the last six months have gone by in a blink of an eye whereas the first year with Devon really dragged at times. Mostly because life with Devon is pretty non-stop and you don't get much time on your hands to contemplate anything! Also it is much more fun now. There's so much more you can do with an 18 month old compared to a younger baby. He loves playing with cars and trains, painting and drawing, running around outside, building blocks, dancing and a bit of rough and tumble.

Devon doesn't do things by halves though, it's either running around screeching with happiness or running around crying and whining. He very rarely sits still for anything!

I realise now just how easy going out and about, shopping etc, used to be before Devon was walking. It was a breeze, you could just pop him in the baby carrier and he'd be happy. Now, it's much harder as all he wants to is run around and he won't sit in the pushchair, carrier or trolley for long without trying to climb out and complaining loudly when he can't. And it's pretty hard carrying a toddler that doesn't want to be carried.

Although his understanding and dexterity improve all the time, he is continually frustrated by his limitations and it's not always clear how to help him. Although at 12 months we thought he was starting to say his first words, they never actually materialised. Mostly he just points and says 'uuurgggn' with various degrees of urgency to communicate with us and get what he wants.

When he turned 18 month we still hadn't had any discernible words from him. Just these last few weeks though we have finally had his first few words: 'duck', ''star', 'dog' and 'car'. And I'm sure more will quickly follow. Some nights he sits bolt upright and starts babbling away, or touching our noses (he can point out several body parts now), so I'm sure his little brain is working overtime to process everything at the moment.

Sleeping was a big issue for us in the first year, none of us were getting enough. Things are better now, Devon is much more consistent in his routine and sleeps much deeper. Most nights he goes to sleep about 8pm and doesn't wake until 3 or 4am. This is a huge improvement from when he used to wake 2-3 times in just the first few hours after he went to sleep and means Nick and I finally get an evening to ourselves.

Devon still sleeps in bed with us, and is still breastfeeding to sleep and through the night. Mostly we have just stuck with this arrangement because it works for us and it feels like the natural thing to do. It means Devon falls asleep quickly and calmly. During the night he will often sit up, babble on for a bit, give us a kiss, then just lie down and go back to sleep by himself.

I often we get questioned about how much longer we will co-sleep and breastfeed for, and this makes me realise that we are perhaps straying from the norm in our parenting ways. Although I admit I am looking forward to the day that Devon sleeps through the night, in his own room, and doesn't want to breastfeed anymore, I know that the day will come naturally by itself whether I want it to or not. So for now we're just enjoying the snuggles while we can.

Devon seems to have adjusted to life here in England quite well. He still loves playing outside, rain or shine and loves jumping in puddles! He now shows us quite clearly when he wants to go out by banging on the front door.

So life still has it's tricky moments, but that sense of urgency and over-whelming 24/7 dependency you get with a young baby is mostly gone. Devon has realised I am not the only person in his life and I've been able to leave him for ever-increasing periods of time quite happily.

I believe for babies under 12 months, their wants are mostly the same as their needs. But as they get older and start experiencing the world in more detail, they suddenly want to touch and explore everything, even things that aren't safe. So parenting changes somewhat, and I have personally found it difficult to make this transition with Devon. To allow him to freely explore and learn and to also validate and respect his desires, all the while keeping him safe and teaching him appropriate social expectations. It's a delicate balance.

There's lots of other things going on at the moment so I'll do another blog soon!